PFT Media

Transcript of episode 15:

I’m Mark Baratelli and I’m here to make it clear. I know you love me baby. That’s why you brought me here… (PAUSE)…. Now onto the news!

This episode is all Winter Park news, so tighten your ascot and dust off your penny loafers. We’re going to rich-ville!

A PDQ chicken-based fast food restaurant is coming to Winter Park at 925 S. Orlando Ave. The property currently houses a shuttered Seacoast Bank. PDQ’s menu includes chicken tenders, nuggets, sandwiches and salad, very much in the vein of Chik-Fil-A. Their chicken is steroids and hormone free… like my men! They also serve milkshakes and cookies. No expected opening date has been announced.

Everyone is losing their minds about the impending demolition of the First Church of Christ Scientist, built in 1958 at 650 North New York Avenue in Winter Park. The property sold for $5 million Condev Land company. The property will change from Institutional to Medium Density Residential. 16 townhomes will be built on the property with prices ranging from $1.8 to 24 million. There will be eight 3-story townhomes designed as duplexes. The property has an unobstructed view of Winter Park golf course. Almost an acre of the land will be reserved to build a new church. The old church was built by a notable local architect named Gimble. Now usually I am up in arms about any demolition of historic or semi-historic buildings, but this one isn’t either. Yes it’s old, but it’s built in a style that is immitating older designs. The facade is insincere and the City of WInter Park is losing nothing. Knock it down and move in the millionaires! They need homes too!

That googie Jetsons Tomorroland Library of nonsense in Winter Park got approved by City Council, of which not one single council member has architecture or design training, knowledge or real world experience. Adjaye Associates’ concept design for the $30 million dollar Winter Park Public Library and Events Center will now move toward schematic design and ultimately construction starting Fall 2018 with an expected completion in early 2020. Of the $30 million budget, $27,500,000 will come from the City and $2,500,000 will come from Library Fundraising.

Winter Park Mayor Steve Leary said the commission wanted the following:

1. “unique and forward-looking aesthetic” It’s retro so nope!

2. “felt true to our heritage” Since when is Winter Park the home of googie architecuture?

3. “had to be ‘of the park’ rather than simply a structure within the park.” The back cement shadeless pit-staining slab of concrete juts over the lake like a misplaced parking lot.

The design’s large arches were inspired both by plants and the region’s vernacular architecture.Again, is Winter Park the United States Googie capital and since when?

The micro-village (LAUGH) will have interactive youth and children areas, an indoor auditorium, makerspaces and technology portals, a business center, continuing education spaces, Winter Park historical and archival collection spaces, community meeting rooms and private reading rooms.

Winter Park residents for generations to come will look at this heinous heartless joke of a building and question who the damn hell let this shit ball of insulting spewing arches and retro 60s soulless spaces get built. We should put their names on our site so we know their names and can robo call them with our thoughts.

And to end on a happy note, Central Florida is getting its first Clean Juice location within the Winter Park Village, home of the closed Mitchell’s seafood and logic-less interior design of CHeesecake Factory.Clean Juice is an organic smoothies, juices, acai bowl franchise and is the only one that is USDA-certified. The USDA doesn’t even make beef producers list where their meat comes from on the labels in your grocery store’s meat department so that accredidation means nothing to me. A second central florida location will be coming to Lake Nona. No opening date has been announced. To date Clean Juice has 86 locations in the U.S. with the goal of 400 in 50 years.