PFT Media

Transcript of episode 17: “I’m Mark Baratelli owner of Orlando’s longest running indie new blog and the biggest (expletive removed) in my apartment and I’ve got something to say. Hit it!

A production microbrewery called Ellipsis Brewing opened its doors near the airport at 7500 TPC Blvd Suite #8. The brewery specializes in hand crafted beers and cost $650,000 to create.

The project consisted of a complete interior renovation of the approximately 7500 sq ft space. 5 jobs were created because of the project. In addition to the 60-seat bar, Ellipsis will sell its original recipe brand beers to local restaurants and retail establishments. It is a member of the Florida Brewers Guild and received $10,000 from the City through the Business Assistance Program. The LLC’s office is located in St Cloud at 130 Montana Ave.

Breweries are the new fro yo, cupcake and food truck and the new ones seem to be almost exclusively white owned. With the new brewery laws that the City passed, every rich male is building one branded with bad logos and facebook pages full of photos of kegs, unpainted walls, painted walls, and closeups of wheat and glasses of half-drunken beer. It’s like, “Here’s what rich frat boys do when they make their first millions in some other industry!” They build breweries. Yaasss frat queen Werk frat momma! Or it’s husbands sick of their wives opening cupcake shops and fro yo food tucks and going “I’m gonna go open MY dream now!” So why don’t we all come together and build Orlando’s first cupcake brewery?

Have you seen the brand “Greenwise” at Publix? It’s their organic and natural product brand, always overpriced like their deli chicken fingers and uppity like the customers who buy them. In 2007 Publix launched a plan to build Greenwise STORES. Three got built then the idea got shelved. The final one was built a year later.

Well now that Amazon is breathing down Publix’s chicken (expletive removed) neck with their Whole Foods buy, they’re bringing back the old Greenwise store idea as Greenwise Markets. The first of this version 2 point oh flimsy cheap chicken (expletive removed) Whole Food knock off idea will open in Tallahassee late 2018, with the second opening  early 2019 in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. At 25,000 sq ft each, the stores will focus on the specialty, natural and organic sector.

I want, I pray for, I dream of the day when Amazon STABS the FACE of Publix and brings this styrofoam-loving, plastic bag-using skeleton-puke of a company to its knees so bad it is forced to release the CHOKEHOLD it has in Orlando on grocery locations. Orlando deserve variety in markets, which Publix doesn’t want. Choke on your pub sub if you disagree and Publix wet that pub sub up really good then insert it into your (expletive removed).

The Daily City told you back in May that the former Lombardi Seafood building at 1152 Harmon Ave in Winter Park was to become a hybrid coffee shop, mercantile store and paint shop. However, since then their plans did not come to fruition and the shop never opened.

A new rumor has surfaced that a new team will take over the space and do something similar. The minds and muscle behind Downtown Credo and and Porch Therapy will be turning the space into a hybrid coffee shop, retail store and local maker shop. The tentative opening is Spring 2018. The Daily City has reached out to Downtown Credo for confirmation on this rumor.

How much of Parramore does the City of Orlando own? The City owns portions of Parramore? WHAAAT!? Yes bitch. The Daily City found out some answers. You’re welcome.

1. Residential: The City is required to inventory all the vacant lots it owns within the City (including Parramore and beyond) that are appropriate for potential use as affordable housing every 3 years per Florida Statutes, Section 166.0451. Is anyone going to play this back and fact-check that that number is correct? Anybody listening? Momma? The most recent count was on April 10, 2017. The City owns 59 vacant lots that are appropriate for potential use as affordable housing (View the Complete List) with 50 of those being in Parramore.

2. Commercial: (wicked laughter) According to City of Orlando Records Specialist Lesley Smith, the City “does not have records of all City owned property in Parramore.” The Daily City has reached out to the City for clarification on this statement. And by clarification I mean me (expletive removed) slapping some truth out of the City of Orlando Records department. And if I can’t? You’ll hear about it here first!”